Thanksgiving Looms

Hey y’all…

November almost halfway done, winter’s knocking on the door and, man oh man, that old, familiar cloud of dread is rolling in with it.

Thanksgiving is rounding the corner, like an unwanted avalanche of snow, aiming to knock me over with reminders of family get-togethers and all that judgment.

I spent most of the day writing for work — getting some good stuff done. Dreading family visits can be a great motivation to clear the to-do list, apparently.

I’m aching for freedom this holiday season. Freedom from expectations, from the judgment-laden questions about my abandoned grad school journey and my “unconventional” career choice as an online writer.

I can already hear the questions brewing a storm in my mind: “Kelly, when are you going back to school?” “Why this job?” As much as I love the gig, it’s like I can never dodge those questions from aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents.

It sounds corny but I’m dreaming of a Thanksgiving redefined.

A holiday where I’m not boxed into traditional family expectations, where I don’t have to dodge awkward questions, shield myself from judgment, or navigate tense conversations.

How will I even handle the traditional family Thanksgiving this year? It’s always been awkward but, since I moved further away, its gotten way worse.

For me, Thanksgiving, with all its trimmings, still fills me with anxiety. The pressure to conform, the judgment wrapped in smiles and the awkward dance around topics I’d rather leave untouched – it’s all there, waiting to be served up on a silver platter along with the turkey and cranberry sauce.

I’m wrapping up for the night.

K.